As a budding drummer in my college days many of my gigs were small cocktail affairs, private parties, art openings, and the occasional wedding. The venues were small, and the band often put in a corner away from the main flow of guests where we could be faintly heard or ignored. Host and bandleader alike would remind us that we were to play quietly and be background for the event. Hot Rods and brushes were de rigeuer. “1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4” and off we’d go into “Little Sunflower” or “Girl from Ipanema” while guests meandered through, appraising the art on the walls, occasionally stopping to listen. There's a set of essential skills that need to be developed to effectively play in these settings. I avoided them to my own detriment for far too long!
Do you know how hard it is to play quiet? I’d feel like I was barely touching the drums and still get the occasional daggers from the bandleader. I was holding on for dear life just to keep a consistent beat, let alone play with any musical freedom. And then it would come. The inevitable moment each gig when both of my Achilles heels would be exposed for the kill. The moment when the bandleader would look at me while I sweated through my pianissimo groove nightmare and say, “Take a solo.” Fortunately, there were no cell phones to record these agonies. On gig after gig, I should have gotten the message. Rather, I should have heeded the message that playing pianissimo was a skill I had to develop. Instead, I’d go blissfully back to the other things I was working on and ignore working on this essential ability only to be reminded of my shortcomings the next go round.
I was missing out. Not only on the skill and confidence to play in the settings I often found myself in, but on the fascinating journey into the micro world of playing at the softest of dynamics. A flowering palette of colors and textures is to be found when playing pianissimo. As you become laser focused, each tiny, detailed movement registers with a satisfying jolt of electricity through your fingers as you control the sticks. You listen harder. Your mind goes quiet, and your auditory senses dilate to hear every nuance of the vibration as stick tips strike skin. Playing at the smallest extreme stretches you in surprising ways.
I’ve been spending a lot of time recently at this dynamic edge. All of my teachers over the years have encouraged me to work on this. In the past the impatience of youth got the better of me and I couldn’t muster the discipline to see it through for very long before slipping into old habits. I’m finally beginning to understand. I’m not sure where this new discipline comes from since, like Peter Pan, I’m not getting any older. But I’m glad I finally got the memo. I’m having a lot of fun in this sandbox! Until next week,JasonIf you want to hear me playing really quiet this week, I'll be at Little Beast Bistro with the John Howard Trio on Thursday from 6-8pm. Would love to see you there!